Guilty Pleasure Games 5/7

So who has been waiting for this post hm? 

Well here it is, and I don’t care what anyone says this game is still AMAZING . . . 

*drum roll*


Why do I feel like I need some massive booming voice saying BIBLE ADVENTURES. You know, like that voice that reads “Resident Evil” at the beginning of every Resident Evil . . . like that but not as creepy. 

So you may or may not recognize this game from NES or, how Brad found it, #19 on Worst Nintendo Games (yeah he got a kick out of that). 

To get an idea of the general look of the game I actually found a YouTube video . . . 

Bible Adventures Gameplay

All you haters out there, I don’t care what anyone says, this game was AMAZING. When I showed this video to Brad I basically narrated it the whole time “He’s got a cow!!! Look at the cow!! Oh no! The cow jumped off the ledge! It’s in a TREE!!! The cow is in a TREE!!!”

As the video shows this game was made up of three minigames: Noah’s Ark, Moses, and David and Goliath. Anyone who knows the Bible can kind of understand the motivation behind each game. Noah’s ark = get all the animals on the ark before it floods. Moses = Get Moses safely to the river so he can escape certain death under teh Egyptians. David and Goliath = Gather your sheep and then fight a giant. 

It’s major criticisms was copying Super Mario Bros and interrupting gameplay with Bible Verses. Well, I barely noticed the Bible Verse interruption . . . and what game DIDN’T imitate the 2d side scrolling style???  

Not to mention this game really was next to impossible. At least Noah’s Ark, they had pretty much every animals known to man . . . well no unicorns or raptors (sorry WJUK). The birds were nearly impossible to catch because you’d have to sneak up on them and if they caught you they’d fly away and you’d be left empty handed and wet (from the rain). THEN when it started getting darker you have to catch these giant cats and those things were just ANNOYING and the night just signals that you are about to lose the game if you don’t hurry up, so it just gets even more obnoxious. David and Goliath with the sheep, stupid sheep, what kind of sheep HIDES?? Clever sheep apparently, at least the type of sheep that David has. 

If anything, if ANYTHING guys, this is a great game to play when your friends just feel like playing something stupid. You know how there is always that movie (Kung Pow anyone?) that you watch JUST to make fun of it. So while I might still think this game is totally like biblical and stuff 😉 you might just like to plug it in and make fun of it *glare*.


  1. VideoGuy

    Yeah, don’t you read the Bible? God said “And you shall bring two of every animal, except raptors. The latter will be publicized enough 4000 years from now on something called ‘teh interwebz’.

    I saw a video of the game here

    He didn’t really like it, but it was funny to watch.

    It doesn’t look that bad, maybe I should recommend it to my friend who has an NES.

  2. WJUK

    NO RAPTORS? HERESY! Whatever that means.

    I’ve heard of Bible Adventures before but I’ve never played it. It just remains me of edu-games – anyone remember Oregon Trail (I think it was called)?

  3. FairlyObvious

    Who COULDN’T remember Oregon Trail??

    Cross the river, an axel broke, two of your party has died . . .


  4. FairlyObvious

    Okay . . .
    Brad drowned, VideoGuy died of dysentry, WJUK broke his leg and died (no clue), Nyubis died of typhoid.
    How depressing . . .

  5. VideoGuy

    Dysentry? Ouch… I don’t see why I’d be going to Oregon anyway.

    That’s actually fun. In an MSDOS-y kind of way. I tried playing using friends’ names, and it was strange seeing ‘Sam has died.’ or ‘Trevor has cholera.’


  6. FairlyObvious

    Quite an interesting dialogue too.

    *DaxterSpeed in heaven*
    God: I struck you down because you didn’t believe in me. How do you feel towards me now?
    DaxterSpeed: I think you are simply a figment created by the neurons in my brain firing off because of that lightening that struck me.
    God: Seriously?
    DaxterSpeed: Yep.
    God: What about now?
    DaxterSpeed: Shhh, my neurons are talking to me.

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